Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
