ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
you had me at cake vodka
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize