Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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