Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
