He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
