a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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