the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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