carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
it's like iHOP with fire
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
