meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
