If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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