I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize