you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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