Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
