I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
