but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize