..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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