Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
