I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
