Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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