Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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