Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
