trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
