D3 body, D1 cock
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
