Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
