I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
