last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
