Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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