Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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