4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
