guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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