I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
