Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She's the barista slut.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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