You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
