In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
