it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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