I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
