We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
