so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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