how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
