talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
