at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Randomize
