They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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