i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
