Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
