I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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