I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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