if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize