Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
