I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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