I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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