so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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