I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize