Do you still have your period?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize