He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
