Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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