wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
