Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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