and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
