Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
