just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
