You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
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