I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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