so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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