so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
