What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
