It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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