O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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